Tellers Are Off Limits

I have been slacking....not because I don't enjoy writing, but that I couldn't think of anything juicy enough to put on here. But Mermaid suggested I tell about the problems that we get with flirtatious customers. And I think she was right! Although, I think this should be published, if for no other reason than to raise awareness. We are your tellers, not a cheap shot.
   Okay, here it is: Female tellers at our branch get hit on. All. The. Time. Really. We do. I have quite a few funny stories. My favorite (also, probably the only one I don't feel disgust recalling) is the one where I got proposed to. Yup. And I think he was kind of serious. Haha. Anyway, I was helping an old man, who is quite friendly and with all the grumpy people I deal with in one day, I was super grateful. But as I'm doing his deposit he asks: "Are you married?" This question gets put to me a lot. They ask if I have kids, how old I am, etc. It makes sense because working at a bank is generally a career type job. I, being ever the honest one, replied, "No sir. " Smiled, and held up my ring-less hand. I turned back to the screen to finish typing up his stuff, and he asks, "Would you like to be?"
Me: (Being my ever oblivious self) "Oh, someday..."
Him: "No, (insert laugh here) Would you like to be?"
Me: (looking up) "Oh! Uh...." (I was caught off guard, and had to think of something fast, he looked so serious...) "Well, I don't know if that would work. I was planning on going out of the country for a few years on a service mission!"
Him: "Well, that's perfect! It works out just fine. I'll probably be dead by the time you get back. It's a win/win situation!"
Me: "...." (eyes wide, in utter shock, and probably beet-red.)
Him: "Oh, I've made you uncomfortable..."
Me: (Laughing a little embarrassedly) "Yes...a bit..."
He laughed and said "Well, have a nice day hon." And I said goodbye and that was it. I even manged to remember to give him his receipt. But that was one of the better moments. At least he kept it respectable and left me alone when it was obvious that I was a little freaked out. I still to this day couldn't tell if he was kidding. (He probably was.)
Other men, all usually older, either make coy remarks to do with some of our required phrases. (Seriously, who thought that "go out of my way to please you" was a good idea?!) Or I get winks and get told "Nothing you could do here for me honey..." And I mostly just feel degraded. One guy had the gall to tell me to "Just sit there and look pretty" and go to another teller like I was incapable of anything except for being lovely. For the record, I am an extremely intelligent human being. I voluntarily study new science findings in my spare time, or read the classics for fun! Seriously! But one poor guy, was fairly polite and nice about it, and asked if I was single. I said, yes (refer to previous married question), and then he asked if he could take me out to dinner sometime. Not that I judge people based on their age, but he really was old enough to be my father. So, I replied, turning red, "Sorry, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that." (It was a blatant lie, I know.) And he looked confused and I said, "Sorry! By single I thought you meant not married. I get that question most often...But I'm very flattered..." And I felt like a jerk, but I was also so sick of getting propositioned and asked out by customers. That had been like, the fourth time that day, and so after he left, I went in back and laugh/cried. I felt really degraded. I get paid to be nice and friendly to customers, and it is nearly always wrongly interpreted. Its a frustrating feeling. Funny in retrospect, but in the moment, it hurt. As a grown woman, I want to feel respected, and not objectified. Kindness is kindness, not flirtatiousness. Anyway, those are the stories!

The Color of Happiness

It's pink, by the way. Or at least that's what a stranger and I discussed today. She didn't even bank at Big Bank. She just was walking by, and I said hello and complimented her fabulously pink, comfy looking sweater. So we talked about the benefits of pink and cozy sweaters, while she stood in line to the local coffee shop. (We were excessively slow.) And after that, I turned back to my work. Then I turned around, and she walked up to my window and handed me a pink cake-pop, that she purchased, entirely for me, and said, "Here. A little happiness for your day." Then smiled and walked away. And I didn't get the chance to thank her. But I nearly went into tears over it. (Dramatic, I know..) I have been having an excessively difficult week at work, and was quickly losing my respect for humanity, as I kept experiencing unpleasant moments. But this kind woman, who didn't even know my name, bought me a piece of pink, and restored my faith in people, and my gratitude for people. So, dear lady in pink, Thank You. You gave me something I really needed: a piece of happiness.
Also, today has been a day for seeing people I haven't seen in a very long time. People from high school. One guy, who I remember as being very shy and distant, but kind, came in. We chatted over life, and he recently got married, and has a little girl now! I was pretty excited for him. And another guy who just got back from his mission in California. I realized I had actually really missed talking to him. I saw a girl who I never got along with very well, since middle school, and realized our little catty rivalry was pointless. I don't even care who or what started it. I wasted too much time of my life feeling angry or put-out, just because we couldn't put aside our selfishness.
Life just has too much in it, too much to be done, to waste it being unhappy, selfish, or malcontent. I really want to be better about that. To swallow my pride or supposed dignity, and just work it out with people. Or with jobs. And just try to do things I love, and to help those around me.

Easter Bunny Munny

Its funny, how the most spiritually related holidays become the most commercialized holidays. Honey Bear mentioned that to me the other day, and in all honesty, I was thinking the same thing. You would not BELIEVE the sheer number of women who came in this week to withdraw big amounts of money, in small bills. For what? To stick in Easter eggs, so that they won't give their children candy. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for the healthy approach, but giving your five year old fifty dollars...What exactly do you think they will want to buy? Candy! And more toys! And more candy! Okay, that's my rant for the day.
Remember Cute girl, who is three and said the whole, "You can have kids when you're as grown-up as me?" Well, today I saw her again. Haha, in fact, she plopped herself down in my window while her mom was talking to one of the other tellers, and proceeded to just chatter away to me. We talked about Minnie and Mickey Mouse, and the Easter Bunny, who she finally took a picture with by herself, how pretty she was in her Easter dress...you know, usual talkative three-year-old stuff.
Then, there it was again! "Do you have a daughter?" me: "Nope." her: "Oh! Then, a little boy?" Me: "Mmm...not really." Her: (a little skeptical) "Do you even HAVE kids?" me: (laughing) "Not yet, hon..."
Then, thankfully, her mother rescued me by telling her it was time to go. So, cute little girl gets up, and says, "See ya later, hon! Call me, okay?" And I giggled and told her I would see her later. But the cuteness did not end there. Oh, no. No, her mom stopped to chat with a friend, and so little Cutie-Pa-Tootie strolls back up to me and says, with a dramatic sigh, "My mom hasn't got it figured out at all. She's still talking to her friends." And then she smiles like her mother is just so silly, and she is so wise, and says "Meet my kids.." Gesturing to thin air, and I smile and say, "Hello!" and she tells me in an exasperated tone, "My husband stayed at home." And her mom whips around, laughing, and says "Husband, huh? When did THAT happen?!" And the little girls smiles and says, "Bye! Happy Easter!" and runs off. Seriously, best interaction of the whole day.

Unoriginal

Okay, so I didn't actually have work today. Or have a particularly funny or cute work story. BUT! I saw something on Pintrest that caught my eye. Here's the link: http://stuckathomemom.com/lifeandothermyths/52-week-money-challenge/the-52-week-money-challenge-you-game . Its funny, because as part of my sales job, I have to talk to people about this new account. We even call it the 52 week challenge. Apparently, someone liked the idea, but didn't like the bank, because now its on Pintrest and in a jar! This just made me laugh. Gotta love the public.

Snowstorms and Sword Fighting

So, my branch of Super Big Bank is attached (inside) to Pretty Big Grocery Store(shortened to PBGS), and love to people watch. Also, I rarely have anything better to do. The other day I watched an adorable little boy, maybe five or six, trailing around after a man, whom I'm not quite sure was his father, or his grandfather.  I actually don't even think the relation was that important. I'm always kinda struck into 0.0 --cute baby mode whenever I see kids doing the whole baby duckling thing, where they just do whatever their leader does. But as these two are going around, doing their shopping, I noticed the little boy was making (rather loud) shink, shink noises. You know those noises. They're the sword fighting noises. Also known as, super awesome imagination noises. But where was the invisible sword? Lol this kid, with his brilliant mind, had two water bottles in his hands, and was fighting himself!
And, since good ol' Colorado had a great big snowstorm coming in (it actually has hit already. seriously, we even canceled church.) everyone was rushing around, stocking up so they wouldn't have to leave their cozy, warm houses once they got snowed in. And I must say, it is completely intriguing what people buy last minute! There are the logical ones--who buy tons of toilet paper and water jugs, and then there are ones that can't pick what they want and finally just give up and get whatever's on sale. And why can't the weather people ever agree on a time?! As of the fact that a major part of my job is small-talk, i hear A LOT about the weather. Some people said it would start at 5pm, some said 2 in the morning, some said it wouldn't be that deep, some said it was going to be a few feet. It's hard to keep up with all the different hearsay! But, as of the fact I'm watching it now, all I can think is: "I really don't care how this started... I just want it to go away..." Because, from what i can understand, unless they call you and say, don't come in (which NEVER happens) I have to get my icy tush up those snowy roads and into my teller seat by tomorrow morning. No snow day for me. :(

Caffeine, Crack and More Cake Pops

Hahaha, oh from that title I just know everyone must think some seriously messed up things happened. But not really. Super Big Bank always does background checks, with fingerprinting and everything before they even consider hiring you. So, I must, obviously, be a good clean upstanding young lady.
Shall we start with crack? Well, last week I took a trip with Big Poppa in the Big Rig down to the desert, just to take a step away from my chaotic, busy life (since I had most of a day off, and it was a Monday). Also, I really wanted to spend more time with him. (Old habits die hard, I guess, even when you grow up.) But on the Monday we drove back, my loving bosses (and I'm sure its not their fault) told me there was a mandatory meeting in Parker on Monday, and since I had a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, they scheduled me to go to the one in the evening, all the way in Parker. It was a teensy bit annoying, at first, btu then I was just glad to have it later in the day so I could leave. But Big Poppa and I drove all day to get me back in time for appointments and meetings, and weirdly enough, I was exhausted. But Doctor said I was healthy and sent me to the lab to pee in lots of cups, and have them steal lots of my blood. And seriously, why did they need that much pee? Haha I have never had to fill that many cups before, and to exact lines and everything. (Okay, that's probably too much information. Sorry.) But when they went to take my blood (I had never really had it drawn before, that I could remember. I usually get too dizzy from blood loss.) It freaked me out! I thought they only needed like, one tube, but they just kept pumping it out! Multiple tubes were filled to the brim. It really grossed me out. Then we went right over to where I had to go to my meeting, and I grabbed myself some chicken nuggets from the Mickey D's next door, because I was pretty sure I was gonna pass out if I didn't put food in my system. But at teller meeting, Big Man Upstairs (also known as the DM)  bought us all Jimmy John's!! And I must tell you, my friends, Jimmy John's is like crack to me. Once you start eating Jimmy Johns, you JUST CAN"T STOP. You crave it all the time, and the very sound of the name makes your mouth water. And out in the boonies, Jimmy Johns does not exist. So I'm sitting there, at a big long conference table, deathly pale, and spaced out, staring at the sandwiches on the table, telling myself to not touch it. Because then, I will be the deathly pale girl, staring awkwardly, and stuffing her face full of sandwiches. (But for the record, I ate exactly one, because someone put a plate down in front of me...) And I am still craving more. Almost two weeks later. Curse you, Jimmy John's and your crack-filled mayonnaise!!

Caffeine occurred this past Monday. Which, as you all know, was President's day here in the good ol' US of A. Super Big Bank trades off between President's Day and Martin Luther King Day in being closed. So, we were open this year on President's day. But guess who was not so privy to that key information? The public! So needless to say, the entire day was very, very slow. And i can say that, because I was there almost the entire time. We open at 9 in the morning and close at 7 at night. And what was my shift? 9:30 to 7:15. Yay for me. And we had almost all of our tellers there. So I really feel like I did absolutely nothing all day. But I was soooooooooo TIRED!!! I literally was fighting off the urge to sleep at my window the entire day. So, I finally begged Canadian Queso (yes, I just named my boss that...) to let me go get a drink to keep myself awake really quickly. She said yes, as long as I brought her a donut. So I scurried away, and came back laden down with a Rehab Monster (also known as lemonade energy drink) and lemon-filled donuts. I chugged down only a fourth of my bottle, and sat down, ready to stay awake. And I was awake. So awake. So awake that my eye started twitching and I couldn't sit still. Hahaha I must have looked really messed up, since before I could barely keep my eyes open. But then, Coffee Man brought us more cake-pops and I was happy. The end. :)

Tears and Cheers

Today involved cake pops! To tell the truth, I actually had never had one before. But the guy from afore-said neighboring coffee shop stopped by with a little bag and asked if we wanted some cake-pops! I, of course, automatically answered, "Yes!" then later realized my out-burst was probably semi-inappropriate, and over-zealous. But I really, REALLY wanted a cake-pop. I also really like free things. Seriously. If you offer me just about anything that is free, I will probably accept it. But long story short: I GOT FREE FREAKING CAKE POPS!!!

I was really excited. But then, there was a girl today, and my heart about near broke for her. I don't handle upset people very well....I have a really bad tendency to empathize with them and over-think it by trying to fix everything for them, when sometimes people don't actually need fixing, emotionally. But anywho, this girl comes up to my window, and I do my cheerful welcome, and she sits down. I ask, "What can I help you with today?" And I think that must have just been the breaking point for the poor honey, because she bursts into tears!! I'm sitting there, looking at this girl, not sure what to do, but Honey Bear brings over a box of tissues, and I hand one to her and ask, "What's up?"

In the mumbling tear-filled sobbing way that we women have of talking when we are very disgruntled, she says, "My boyfriend just broke up with me, so I need to set up my own account. Also, take my name off of his.." My eyes of course get huge over this realization, and I say, "Of course hon! I can't do that, but a banker can..." so I taker her over to Blondie and sit her down, but first whisper, "Do you want a hug?" And the girl looks at me like I'm crazy, and says, "No thanks." Lol oh well. It probably was completely un-professional anyway.

Old Men and Little Boys

I'm actually not sure which I like better. (Not in a gross way. Seriously, if you think like that, go read someone else's blogs.) Old men are always so funny and so playful. Today, one man stopped by my window to ask me a question about currency exchange rates. He said he was going to Ireland (I have lately really wanted to go there!) and my coworker, whom we shall now bequeath the name Honey Bear, teased and asked if she could come too. He peered at her for a few minutes, and replied, "Only if you are a really good girl!" Sounding almost exactly like a grandpa to a little child who wanted a candy bar. We go on, talking about rates and times and places, and as he is walking away, he calls out, "You were much too naughty! You are not going to Ireland!". Okay, it sounds less cute now. But really, I just wanted to hug him. And all the old men are like that. They wink and grin and laugh. Why can't young guys be that much fun?!
But then, the other day, a mom came in with a little boy who was maybe five years old. He was wearing his pajamas with rocket ships on them, and she goes to the teller next to me, and he plops down on a chair in front of me. His mom whispers in his ear, and he mumbles, in that shy kid way, "Hi, i wannmakeadepositandcash, please." And looks down but pushes a Valentine's day card across the counter with a check in it. His mom leans over, saying, "Sorry, can we deposit that? And give him cash back?" So i get the transaction going, and have to have him sign the check so, since he couldn't spell his name in the tiny space, he drew a nice little X for me. He was by far my cutest customer yet. Ending picture: Little boy in rocket ship pj's with a blue sucker in his mouth, waving to me as he walked away. Best moment ever.

Welcome to the Cave

So, at my branch, we don't really have a break room. We have a back room--but no break room. In said back room, everything is all smooshed together, and there is barely enough space for three people standing up. Cramped, uncomfortable, and COLD! Holy cow-a-poly is it cold back there! I spent a few days in training back there, and froze my poor tushy off. Well that, and I sat for eight hours three days in a row on a super uncomfortable stool. So, my favorite teller friend, whom we shall call Mermaid, (Yeah, I know. Just go with it,) and I have taken to calling the back room the Cave. Now, a cave would be pretty cool we if we were men and wanted a man-cave, or if it were more like the Bat Cave where Batman hides out, but primarily, it smells like chinese food and coffee. Although, the coffee pot might actually be growing mold. It has literally been at least a month since someone made fresh coffee or cleaned the pot. I only know these things, because it hasn't moved since I started working there. Ew. But the funny thing about the Cave is that I actually kinda like it in there. It has a funny phone that only works on speaker, cabinets that are full to the brim, name tags everywhere, and cups from the local coffee shop sitting on almost every counter. Oh, and did I mention, I'm keeping count: Hit by the door: 3 times. Hit someone else with the door: 7.

Little Girls are Ostentatious

One thing I really love about my job, is the sheer amount of cute little kids that come in. And all i have to do is give them suckers! Their faces light up like I'm the bestest grown-up in the whole world, and I'm like, "yeah. yeah I am." And once, I even had one sign a check for me. But I'll tell that story later. Today's post is about one ostentatious little three-year old, whose name shall not be published, because that's probably really not safe.
This little chick-a-dee was super adorable, like most three year olds. Cheerful, friendly, and completely lacking in filters for their words. She's standing there, while her mom is depositing a check, and another lady comes up to chat with the teller. (Okay, small-town warning: We know you like us, and see us as friends, but if we're with somebody, JUST WAIT IN LINE. Sorry, had to say that.) But the teller (not me, btw) was pretty good and mostly focused on her current customer. So Mrs. Chatty-Kathy turns to wait, and stops and says hello to Cute Kid. And the ensuing conversation had me silently laughing in my corner.
 "Hey there, cutie! What's your name?"
 "*insert cute kid's real name* I'm three."
 "Wow! That's pretty big, *insert wrong name*"
 "No. My name is..*correct name*. Geez, silly."
*laughing* "Oh! I'm sorry, honey. *correct name* Are you doing some banking today?"
 "Nope! My mommy is. See? She's right here. This is my mommy." *super proud*
At this moment a girl walks up to Mrs. Chatty-Kathy and asks her about milk or some other grocery need.
After answering lady turns back to little girl and says, "This is MY daughter. I'm her mommy!" *Pride also evident.*
 "Oh! Hello! What's your name? Do you have a little boy?"
Daughter: "Uhhh..."
Chatty-Kathy: "Well, honey, no. She's not really big enough for that."
Cute Kid: *sounding very knowledgeable* "Oh, okay. Well, its okay. One day, when you're as big as I am, you can maybe have a little boy." Then turns around and walks away, so very matter-of-factly.
I was dying of laughter inside, because, she's so tiny! Then someone mutters, "i sure hope that kid doesn't have her own kid."
Haha gotta love little kids in a small town.

Hi! I'm Tour-Guide Barbie!

Y'know when you walk into a bank and there is sometimes this employee standing awkwardly in the lobby? You try to avoid I contact...step around...but they've seen you. And POUNCE! Cornered. The start shaking your hand (seriously, what is with that?) and you just want to pull away, but their chipper chirping is all in your face and their all like, "Hello! How can I help YOU today?!" And you just want to push them away and say something more like, "You can help me by getting away from me..." But you don't, because we all know that's totally rude.
Well, guess who got to do that her first week? This chick! Apparently, its called "Lobby Leading" because you're supposed to lead them to the open teller window. But honestly, it weirded me out! Seriously, we smother our customers from the second they walk in the door. But maybe I'm just a super introverted person who is desperately afraid of people she doesn't know.
Anyways, I'm standing there, with a big fat grin plastered to my face for two hours, when suddenly....my cheeks start to ache. Like, a lot. And so I relaxed my facial muscles when suddenly...I think of Toy Story 2. If you haven't seen the funny little bloopers reel at the end of the credits, GO WATCH IT! Tour-Guide Barbie stands there waving going, "Buh-bye, bye-bye now! Buh bye...Are they gone?" Smile ceases, "Ugh. My cheeks are KILLING ME!" At this point, in my head, I'm all like, "HI! I"M FREAKING TOUR GUIDE BARBIE!!!" And I start to laugh, like a nut-job that just got out of the psych ward. Which makes me smile, but then my cheeks hurt, which makes me smile more. Vicious cycle, really.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAYoiCrYvAU <---- also this is the part.

First Things First....

Hello! May as well get started on letting you know what the heck this blog thing is about. Its my adventures as a Teller at a bank. A widely known bank? Suddenly realizing that I should not use actual people and place's names. (Although, free advertisement, right?!) I am usually in the corner teller window. And, as life usually has it, I see and hear a great many interesting things. And I think that the people I normally talk to are probably REALLY sick of hearing me tell stories. So, I am making a blog! Because SOMEONE needs to hear about this stuff.